My least favorite thing to hear since becoming a new mom is, “Just you wait,” normally followed by something I’ve never experienced since my child is an infant and hasn’t rolled over on her own yet, let alone been through puberty…
When someone says that to me, it sounds like, because I haven’t been a mom for as long as they have, my feelings of exhaustion, pride, fear, paranoia, or even love are somehow illegitimate or less than.
And these “forebodings” are just one theme of “advice” I’ve received lately, but precious little of any of it has assisted me in any way or given me confidence in my situation.
Why are so many comments to new moms so negative and condescending?
Why don’t people encourage women during this time, especially if everything is so awful and supposedly only gets worse?
Why do we insist on knocking new moms down a few pegs rather than empowering them?
Based on all the advice and stories I’ve heard, by now, I shouldn’t have showered in 3 weeks, washed a sheet, made a meal, or changed my clothes, let alone gotten off my butt to start losing the baby weight. “Maybe when the baby goes to kindergarten,” they tell me.
What a pleasant life moms lead.
Such negativity made me dread the prospect of motherhood and hate my pregnancy.
But let me tell you (pregnant women, new moms, prospective moms, and anyone else who wants to know) something from experience, my new experience of the last 2 months (even after the most miserable pregnancy and horrifyingly long and painful labor and delivery):
Everything bad everyone tells you about – every miserable night without sleep, every embarrassing stretch mark and saggy inch of skin, every poopy diaper that gets all over her, you, and somehow also the wall (?!) – it’s all worth it.
Just because something is difficult doesn’t mean it is bad. Incredible things can happen when you work at something hard.
Don’t dread this like I did.
Don’t let anyone steal your joy.
These last 2 months have been delightful, and I look forward to a lifetime with this angel baby.
Being a mom is wonderful. And I’ve showered every single day since I became one.